After all the anticipation, the stage is finally set. Dr Heng did the cervix check for me and said that I'm roughly 1.5cm-2cm dilated. Baby's head is quite low (she actually can feel) but his face still not facing inside. His hands are rested on the chin and I can definitely see that his nose is higher than Valerie's.
She asked me to wait for another week (she actually said 10 days overdue is fine) but I didn't really want to wait anymore. Many friends ask me to wait. "Just give him a couple more days" they all said. But progressively, I'm losing confidence. Yes, a baby WILL eventually be born naturally, it's a matter of time. But what are the chances of successful VBAC every passing day?
During today's scan, he is estimated to be 3.6kgs (+/- 10%). Even if he is smaller now, give him one more week, wouldn't he be around 3.6kgs by then? I know MANY people, smaller in frame has birth a 3.6kgs baby. But how long did they take? Was it their 1st child? 2nd child? Anyone VBAC? No one can give me such 'statistics'.
I only hope to have my child, safely placed on my arms, with minimum complications. I'm not an advocate that all birth MUST be natural watsoever. But having said that, I understand that natural birth has a faster recovery process. Why would I want to cut myself up for nothing right?
Maybe I'm not determined enough, lack of self confidence and too anxious. But watever it is, the decision has already been made. I've arranged for c-section tomorrow at 1pm. Although I'm sad, since I've already made this decision, I just have to see through it.
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